You're Going To Miss This...

Trace Adkins has a song out called "You're Going to Miss This".  It's a great song and one I resort to playing in my head when my 3 year old is throwing an epic tantrum and my 6 year old is squealing bloody murder because her brother just sprayed her in the face with water.  It gets me through; at least it did, until last night when I had a thought...

What exactly am I going to miss?  I recall back in high school people telling me that "those were going to be the best days of my life!"  I don't think so...  and when I was single with no real ties to anything I was told "to enjoy it, it won't last forever!"  True, it didn't, and I did enjoy it, but they made it sound like doomsday was approaching.  Then pregnancy came...  "You'll miss that feeling when it's gone!"  Nope, cannot say I do, it was an experience, but I definitely do not miss it.  And now when my 3 year old is throwing the biggest tantrum on earth over a sock (he just pulled off intentionally) no longer being on his foot, I hear "You're going to miss this..."  Hmmmmm, you think?

Not to say that none of the above listed times did not have their perks; each one was a time period, its own era.  Much of it feels like a lifetime ago and as if it wasn't actually me that lived it, but none of these times were what I would refer to as something to fondly miss.  They were experiences, they made me who I am and I do not regret any of them, but miss them... no.  If someone offered me the ability to travel back in time to one of those time periods, would I take them up on the offer?  Heavens no!


Back to present day.... Am I going to miss the overwhelming desire to bring out the duct tape and attach a child or two to one of the elms in the front while I close all doors and windows, turn up the stereo and sip a nice hot latte?  I doubt it.  Am I going to miss the "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom ,Mom, Mom.... Mooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Mom, I'm hungry " (while I am on the phone with the bank, 10 minutes after lunch)?  Probably not.  Am I going to miss the inability to use the bathroom without one of the kids inevitably also needing to use it, or needing to tell me something at that very moment?  I am guessing not so much.

I know the point Trace is trying to make in the song is that kids grow up and it happens in a blink of an eye,  to enjoy them when they are little and still need their Mom.  However, I am not what a person would refer to as a "good" mother.  I don't want to spend every waking moment with my kids.  I love them and enjoy the time we do spend together, but I am not one to say "they are little and it is all about them right now".  I don't believe that.  I am me, I may be a mother and a wife, but ultimately I am me (with not as much patience as I once believed).  Besides, as people point out, this time is very brief, so am I willing to give up 100% of myself to be at a complete loss of what to do when they leave home in 15 years or so?  No.  I am not saying there is anything wrong with that line of thinking; I am just saying that it does not work for me.  My kids also don't want to spend 100% of their time with me, so it works for our family.  I need the ability to be Randi, on top of Mom.  Granted, I decided to undertake an awful lot of responsibility all at once (motherhood, running a company, etc), but to be completely honest all of it just kind of happened.  I did think about waiting until the kids were older to pursue the company plans full-fledged, but when opportunity knocks, you better answer, because it does not present itself often!

So, am I going to miss my extremely exhausting life of running kids to where they need to be, playing single mom more often than not these days and running a fast growing company?  Probably not.  Am I looking forward to the future?  You better believe it!  I cannot wait to see who my children are going to become in life.  It may sound strange, but it is exciting to think about what my daughter's "Architect Mind" (as I refer to it) will bring to the world and my son's "no guts, no glory" personality will develop into.  They are amazing little people that will become unbelievable adults.  And all the "high-spirited" (and exhausting) behaviour they extrude now will become something of grandeur in their future lives.  But in this day and age these behaviours in the form of back-talk, tantrums, and overwhelming intensity... I doubt I am actually going to MISS it.  Will I enjoy the good times and look back fondly on them?  I sure will!

(For those that are not familiar with the song, I have copy/pasted the lyrics below):


She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby just slow down

'Cause You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got 2 babies of my own
One's 36, one's 23
Huh, it's hard to believe

But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this