What is the rut? The rut is a period of time that everyone encounters at one point or another. It is a time of deep thought, reflection, confusion and eventually decision. In my experience it mainly happens to younger women (25 to 35 year range) with young pre-school aged children. This rut that I am referring to is the entrepreneurial rut.
Your once beloved hobby, all of a sudden becomes a viable business that requires time, dedication and decision. You have deadlines to meet and people to please. You have to decide whether you make a real go out of it, or you take a step back and put your dream on hold. There are many things to factor into the equation and the main source of turmoil is the fear of regret. If I go on will my family suffer? If I stop will I regret not attempting it? This is only a decision each person can decide for themselves, however it can be very complicated.
So what can a person do... ?
If you do not have bills to pay (rent, employees, etc) I beg you to take a break before putting the whole thing on the back burner. If you are like me, you have spent countless hours building and nurturing your little company as if it were one of your children. There is nothing wrong with taking a break, whether it be a few weeks or a few months. Let your customers know, so they can be prepared and hang up the hat for awhile. This is the only way you'll really know if you can live without it peacefully. If by the end of your break, you find that you were more content without it, then so be it. If by the end you cannot wait to get back into it, then I think you have your answer as well.
Just remember, all business women go through this. It's a scary thing and life altering decision, either way you look at it. And to be honest, it will most likely happen a few times. When it does, take deep breaths, plan a holiday and the answer will come to you :)
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Left wing versus Right wing? Pondering the mentality in Alberta.
I have a friend who lives in Quebec and she and I get into political discussions once in awhile that are just wonderful! I enjoy every minute of our "arguments" and I find myself smiling through the whole thing. Neither of us are out to win, just fun banter back and forth that ends in a virtual handshake and some deep thought afterwards (on my part anyway). She sides with the left, whereas I am more right-winged when it comes to money, and social structure, etc, I am very much a conservative in this regard. In terms of people, I would say I have liberal views, I do not care of a person is gay or straight or if they are black, white, brown, yellow, green, orange or purple. I don't care if you are Muslim, Christian, Wiccan, Jehovah Witness, Mormon, Catholic, Protestant, Buddhist, Pagan, etc. If you are a good person with good intentions that's all that matters to me.
So after our lovely debate tonight it got me thinking... why do we prairie dwellers think so differently than those out East? And yes I am generalizing here, as not all prairie people are Conservative, and not all Easterners are Liberals/NDP, but in my experience it seems that way... plus the Canadian vote basically shows that it is somewhat true.
I wonder, are our basics belief systems due to our upbringing and culture? What I mean by this is, in Alberta we have small cities and a high rural population. We still have lots of farmland and if you aren't a farmer, you at least know one or two, or a dozen. If you were born and raised here, you are probably related to many. From what I know about Quebec (and I'll admit, I don't know a whole bunch other than hearsay) is that they have large cities with large populations, and potentially very little farmland left (at least around the vast populations). So, with this said.... farmers work hard, put in long hours and are guaranteed nothing. Their financial fate depends on many factors out of their control... yet they continue to work hard labour to hopefully reap the rewards at the end of the growing season. They do not get an hourly wage, they do not enjoy benefits or paid time off. They work extremely hard labour for a living and sometimes that living is barely enough to make ends meet, other times they end up supplementing their income by going to work in the oil field in the off season which gives them two highly laborious, lengthy jobs. So is this where our right wing approach comes from? Hard work, with no guarantees? Is this why we tend to vote for less socialism and more capitalism? Every man for himself. Sure we enjoy socialism to some degree, because everyone likes a safety net, but handouts are basically frowned upon in Alberta (in my experience)... it is some unspoken code that every person capable of work does just that and those that work hardest reap the most reward. And if for some reason the hardest working do not succeed in their endeavours, there is nobody to blame, but themselves or "bad luck" (or the weather lol).
Like I say, I do not know much about how the big cities (Montreal, Toronto, etc that make our little cities look like towns) operate as I have never been there, but I wonder if that is why we Albertans are the way we are... through generations, this has been passed to us... a work hard-no guarantees attitude. I am guessing this is not exclusive to us either, as all farming communities most likely fit this thought capacity, we just happen to have a province full of it, as does our neighbour to the east.
Just some food for thought. And if this is something everyone else already knew, and well I was in the dark, be happy... I was just enlightened ;p
(And I mean no ill about the East, this is more a question about our mentality than the eastern, as I have no clue as to what drives the east thought processes.)
So after our lovely debate tonight it got me thinking... why do we prairie dwellers think so differently than those out East? And yes I am generalizing here, as not all prairie people are Conservative, and not all Easterners are Liberals/NDP, but in my experience it seems that way... plus the Canadian vote basically shows that it is somewhat true.
I wonder, are our basics belief systems due to our upbringing and culture? What I mean by this is, in Alberta we have small cities and a high rural population. We still have lots of farmland and if you aren't a farmer, you at least know one or two, or a dozen. If you were born and raised here, you are probably related to many. From what I know about Quebec (and I'll admit, I don't know a whole bunch other than hearsay) is that they have large cities with large populations, and potentially very little farmland left (at least around the vast populations). So, with this said.... farmers work hard, put in long hours and are guaranteed nothing. Their financial fate depends on many factors out of their control... yet they continue to work hard labour to hopefully reap the rewards at the end of the growing season. They do not get an hourly wage, they do not enjoy benefits or paid time off. They work extremely hard labour for a living and sometimes that living is barely enough to make ends meet, other times they end up supplementing their income by going to work in the oil field in the off season which gives them two highly laborious, lengthy jobs. So is this where our right wing approach comes from? Hard work, with no guarantees? Is this why we tend to vote for less socialism and more capitalism? Every man for himself. Sure we enjoy socialism to some degree, because everyone likes a safety net, but handouts are basically frowned upon in Alberta (in my experience)... it is some unspoken code that every person capable of work does just that and those that work hardest reap the most reward. And if for some reason the hardest working do not succeed in their endeavours, there is nobody to blame, but themselves or "bad luck" (or the weather lol).
Like I say, I do not know much about how the big cities (Montreal, Toronto, etc that make our little cities look like towns) operate as I have never been there, but I wonder if that is why we Albertans are the way we are... through generations, this has been passed to us... a work hard-no guarantees attitude. I am guessing this is not exclusive to us either, as all farming communities most likely fit this thought capacity, we just happen to have a province full of it, as does our neighbour to the east.
Just some food for thought. And if this is something everyone else already knew, and well I was in the dark, be happy... I was just enlightened ;p
(And I mean no ill about the East, this is more a question about our mentality than the eastern, as I have no clue as to what drives the east thought processes.)
Monday, September 3, 2012
Message Received... Point taken!
Back in June, I posted a blog entry about someone trying to tell me something. Well, at this point in time, I can say wholeheartedly that it was true. I am unsure if I was just paying more attention to the messages or they were so apparent I could not ignore them, but whatever the reasoning I see many things clearly at this point in time.
So many events have lead up to today, it is practically pointless to mention them all, but I can summarize what I have learned from all of them. The final one (well final for today) being the death of my neighbour, an 84 year old man who lived alone. The finality of it all. I was the last person to see and talk to him and I thankfully said "Hi! How are you! I am taking pictures of the blue moon!" rather than being too busy and not acknowledging him at all, which would have been easy to do as he and I were both busy even though we were 10 feet from one another and really do not know each other. Well, maybe that is not true either... he has watched from his front step for the last 8 years... he's seen my kids and dog growing up and our life happen from a distance. Maybe he knew me and mine, but I didn't know his. I only found out his name today.
Anyhow, in the last few months I have learned some important lessons.
So many events have lead up to today, it is practically pointless to mention them all, but I can summarize what I have learned from all of them. The final one (well final for today) being the death of my neighbour, an 84 year old man who lived alone. The finality of it all. I was the last person to see and talk to him and I thankfully said "Hi! How are you! I am taking pictures of the blue moon!" rather than being too busy and not acknowledging him at all, which would have been easy to do as he and I were both busy even though we were 10 feet from one another and really do not know each other. Well, maybe that is not true either... he has watched from his front step for the last 8 years... he's seen my kids and dog growing up and our life happen from a distance. Maybe he knew me and mine, but I didn't know his. I only found out his name today.
Anyhow, in the last few months I have learned some important lessons.
- I have learned that even when what appears to be the perfect opportunity in life presents itself, sometimes the best things in life are already there.
- I have learned that my belief system, although open to questions, is not wavering.
- I am me! I am nobody else and there is nothing wrong with me or my beliefs! Although some people (more like most) cannot and will not ever understand me, that is their problem, not mine. My beliefs are based on experience and although disconcerting to some, they are there for a reason and I truly 100% believe in what I do.
- I believe in ethics, both in personal and in business matters. Nothing irks me more than a person taking advantage of another knowingly.
- My family is very important to me. They are the reason I go on in life. Although it is nice to have that break, I wouldn't be me without them (and frankly I would be bored, they add so much more to it than I ever thought possible!). I've learned to value my time with them more than I used to, even if it is just to be in the same room, I am grateful for it.
- I value my sleep (sounds funny, but really it is a big thing for me lol)!
- My husband is the best thing since sliced bread! I cannot imagine this world without him... and I hope I never have to experience it (which I guess means, I have to die first lol).
- Life ends. You can be driving home at 11 pm one night, but this does not mean you will wake up to see tomorrow. There is a time when the seconds you have in this world are finite.
- Be kind to people... take that moment to look at the waitress serving you and look her in the eye. She's important, as are most people in your life, even if only for a second, they may change your world in that instant.
- Some people cannot be helped. I saw this from a few different angles actually. There are those that refuse to change their life for the better... they are not ready... and there are others who take every act of kindness as an act of malicious intent. Don't waste your time on those people... there are other people that do need it and are willing to accept it. This is not to say don't ever try, but if it is not received in the first or second instance, then focus on something less exhausting in the end.
I can honestly say I understand a few more things now. And by looking at the above list, you may say to yourself, well DUH! But honestly, I always thought I did too. I now have a firm grasp on it all and am at peace, which is something I cannot say back in June. All my core belief systems were tested over the past few months and I put some really deep thought into why I believe what I do. The events of these past few months showed me why.
I hope everyone experiences what I did in this time period, because it is really eye-opening. I believe these are probably the events that lead up to many people following a religion. They find something that reinforces those belief systems and suits them. I did not find that (I didn't really seek it though), but I can understand why someone would embrace a religion later in life. I went through what I assume would be the same questions of faith and my answers just happened to be different than many, although not wrong either. The biggest answer I got.... Nobody is wrong... it's all perception. And I can say that with 100% certainty.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Just another elm tree…
This elm has been subject to a couple adversities in the very
short time I have known it. In a wind
storm a couple of years ago there was a loud crack and it was split in two down
its trunk to its base. The city was
called and it was bolted and wired to aid in its recovery. Although it still shows the scars of this
event, it has continued to grow and bear its canopy every spring and provides a
home to many neighbourhood birds.
Last Saturday there was a very loud bang that could be heard for miles. The elm was struck by lightning. The electricity flowed through it and came
out one of the bolts in an explosion of bark and wood pieces that sprayed
across our yard. It was wounded badly. The nearly healed split from years previous
opened once again and sap drained from its large trunk like tears. The bark began to peel from it and insects
started to invade. It looked to be the
end for this 80 year old gift from Mother Nature. As I watched it struggle I felt sadness. This tree that stood here for close to a
century, which lived through droughts, a tornado, countless storms and many
other adversities, was to be taken down by a split second occurrence; Mother
Nature’s power at its best.
I called the city once again. They came and took a look at the wounds. They performed some surgery and voila! The tree will be okay! It will live to watch over many more
generations. It will continue to shelter
children as they walk to school and protect the vehicles from hail. It
will persevere and overcome this tragedy.
I hope to live my life as strong as this tree. I, like it, will suffer in life, this I know,
as we all do suffer our own tragedies throughout our existence. Like this tree, I hope to be able to rise
above them and be able to heal. Sure, scars
will show, but these scars will tell a tale of events overcome and experience
had. And like this tree, I may need help
from others to aid in this healing, and although it is in my nature, I will not
refuse it, because sometimes even the strongest need help once in a while. Although just another elm, this tree has
taught me many things about life.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Stress Management
So over this past weekend I had a "me" weekend. The kids are at the grandparents, my hubby is out of town working. It is just me and the dog. I can honestly say I cannot remember the last time I had days all to myself where I did not have something that HAD to be done. I think it was before the kids were born (so 7 years or so). At first I was pretty lost, but then I realized I had time for ME! Time to sit down, reflect on life and figure out some game plans.
The biggest hurdle in my life (and in most peoples life) is a lovely word called STRESS. Stress gets me all the time. I stress about everything! All these little stressors that nag at me, whether warranting the amount of attention I give them or not, pile up and create a huge weight on my shoulders. Soon, I feel bombarded and cannot tell up from down or left from right. Life turns into a giant elastic ball where all the bands keep snapping at me causing me actual physical pain in my shoulders, neck and head and a sense of disorientation. So, this weekend it was time to take the time to do something about it. Make a game plan and put it into action.
My Game Plan:
First, I wrote down everything that is causing me to feel stress these days. From there I prioritized those items by taking into account whether those items are really going to matter in 30 years. My list got substantially shorter and resulted in five things that I need to deal with. The items that were no longer on the list I crossed off and let go... I am not going to let them bother me any more. What was originally a giant elastic band ball, became a small manageable pile of elastics. (There is something to be said for writing down things like this and then scrapping the list... it seems to be a physical way of releasing it that you can see it actually disappearing).
I then took a binder and labelled it "The Plan". In it I put some dividers and whole lot of paper. Behind each divider I made a title page that indicated the Action Plan for the five things I need to address. I added a start date to the plan and then an outline of how I was going to accomplish eliminating this stressor from my life (a summary basically). Behind the title page I went into depth with step by step instructions of how to get there and the consequences of not following through with the plan (for me this is important, it's like a kick in the pants to get it done, plus it forces you to face reality). Some of the plans are quite long, but I made sure I put all the steps necessary to accomplish my goal.
Now what?
The biggest challenge I will be facing is how to stick to the game plan, but I think if I continue to write down the everyday stressors I do experience at the end of each day and then let them go, it will allow me to stay on track as I can pay attention to the bigger, more important, tasks at hand. I dated all the plans so that I can see my progress in terms of time as I get closer to completion. The binder will be left out in a visible spot so I cannot "forget" about it. My daily action plan consists of referencing the binder each day, checking off the steps, and dating them as I complete them. If new situations arise that are of importance I can add them to the binder, if I complete tasks, they can be removed. I was originally going to use a notebook, but I felt a binder would be easier as it could be updated as needed.
So will it work?
I believe so. As long as I follow through. Only time will tell :)
The biggest hurdle in my life (and in most peoples life) is a lovely word called STRESS. Stress gets me all the time. I stress about everything! All these little stressors that nag at me, whether warranting the amount of attention I give them or not, pile up and create a huge weight on my shoulders. Soon, I feel bombarded and cannot tell up from down or left from right. Life turns into a giant elastic ball where all the bands keep snapping at me causing me actual physical pain in my shoulders, neck and head and a sense of disorientation. So, this weekend it was time to take the time to do something about it. Make a game plan and put it into action.
My Game Plan:
First, I wrote down everything that is causing me to feel stress these days. From there I prioritized those items by taking into account whether those items are really going to matter in 30 years. My list got substantially shorter and resulted in five things that I need to deal with. The items that were no longer on the list I crossed off and let go... I am not going to let them bother me any more. What was originally a giant elastic band ball, became a small manageable pile of elastics. (There is something to be said for writing down things like this and then scrapping the list... it seems to be a physical way of releasing it that you can see it actually disappearing).
I then took a binder and labelled it "The Plan". In it I put some dividers and whole lot of paper. Behind each divider I made a title page that indicated the Action Plan for the five things I need to address. I added a start date to the plan and then an outline of how I was going to accomplish eliminating this stressor from my life (a summary basically). Behind the title page I went into depth with step by step instructions of how to get there and the consequences of not following through with the plan (for me this is important, it's like a kick in the pants to get it done, plus it forces you to face reality). Some of the plans are quite long, but I made sure I put all the steps necessary to accomplish my goal.
Now what?
The biggest challenge I will be facing is how to stick to the game plan, but I think if I continue to write down the everyday stressors I do experience at the end of each day and then let them go, it will allow me to stay on track as I can pay attention to the bigger, more important, tasks at hand. I dated all the plans so that I can see my progress in terms of time as I get closer to completion. The binder will be left out in a visible spot so I cannot "forget" about it. My daily action plan consists of referencing the binder each day, checking off the steps, and dating them as I complete them. If new situations arise that are of importance I can add them to the binder, if I complete tasks, they can be removed. I was originally going to use a notebook, but I felt a binder would be easier as it could be updated as needed.
So will it work?
I believe so. As long as I follow through. Only time will tell :)
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Life Through David's Eyes...
Currently I have "homeless" neighbours. What I mean is that the people living in the house next to me are actually homeless people that need a place to stay. The person that owns the house is renovating it to flip it and he is letting the labourers that work for him stay there.
David is one of the men that currently reside there. He is a happy-go-lucky guy and is never upset, and always has a smile on his face. He doesn't drink alcohol, go to the bars, or gamble. He had a bad hand dealt to him years ago and is now trying to recover from the events. Other than a bike, he has very little material possessions and makes do with what he has. He works long hours, for little pay, and smiles as he does so. He has a soft spot for my kids that I didn't quite understand and you can see they bring him joy when they are out playing in the front or backyard. He builds them gifts out of scrap wood, gives them items he finds on his reno jobs (such as a soccer net) and enjoys the look on their faces when they see what treasures he has found for them.
I have gotten to know David a bit since he started working on the house around Easter and he has a great heart and appears to mean well. He wasn't always the person he is now. The spiral of events that brought him to the circumstances he lives today happened in merely a split second. The love of his life (and mother of his newborn daughter) was killed in a car accident on the way to meet with him one evening. To deal with the pain he began to self-medicate. His drug use and drinking got out of hand. He went from having everything important to him, to having nothing in an instant. He never got to see his daughter again (which he believes is for the best, as she should not have to see a father in his state).
We were sitting outside one day watching the kids playing and out of nowhere David said "Chris [my hubby] is such a lucky man. He's got a wife, beautiful kids, a house, a steady job, and a dog. I hope he knows that." I assured him that he did. This last weekend it had been about three days since we had seen David and when the kids saw him they ran at him and attacked him playfully (much to my dismay... kids shouldn't do that to anyone). They were very excited to see him. David's response to it all "That is the coolest thing!" It got me thinking about it all and yes, we are very lucky and we do have it pretty good. Sometimes it takes viewing the world through David's eyes to appreciate how much we truly have in this world.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
The role of a CEO... is it worth it?
My life consists of basically two identical roles as CEO. Which is a little funny because when I finally decided what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was that exact thing and then it accidently became a reality on both accounts. Now I play the role of CEO, as a mother and wife in my household and as Director/President of my company.
So which CEO position is harder? I can honestly say they are about equal. However, my role as CEO at the company umbrellas many other positions such as bookkeeper, purchasing, receiving, inventory control, scheduling, etc (I do all tasks being we are small). My role at home is identical... I am in charge of the finances, purchasing, scheduling. I have two employees at work, I have two small children at home. Managing people, money and time is what I do. The big difference, I do not have to answer to anyone else (other than my kids and hubby) at home whereas I have to answer to about 1200 with the company. Both positions entail thankless tasks and both have their rewards.
So am I insane? Perhaps... for most it is a hard enough task to run one environment successfully... and here I am juggling two full time. How? I am not exactly sure, and sometimes I wonder if my head will explode. My motivation is essentially the fact that I was given an opportunity to be the mother of two and the ability and drive to manage a business venture that is thus far successful. Do I ever want to pack it in? Absolutely! But then something good happens and the motivation remains and I trudge along.
Do I get paid for these jobs? Not monetarily. And no not from the company either, at this point, as the money is needed for growth. I receive my payment from both positions in the form of the odd thank you, pat on the back (hugs and I love you's at home) and knowing the job is done to the best of my ability. Just as a person watches their children grow up into decent human beings, I watch the company grow as well.
So if you are a mother and are thinking of starting a business here are some thoughts for you to help you make that decision. Running a business and running a household with small children is very much the same. You work long hours with fewer initial rewards than anticipated. The only time most people see what effort it takes is when the job is not completed to expectation. If you are dealing with customers, the odds are you will be dealing with tantrums at work as well (surprisingly there are quite a few adults out there that are not all that reasonable in their demands and thought patterns). So if you are up for a challenge, this is definitely one. And having someone to support you in all you do, is a must. My hubby is away a lot, but when he is here, he helps out immensely. This is a must and without his help, I wouldn't be able to get done what I do get accomplished. Other friends and family are also key. Make sure you have a support network that will aid in times of need. Business, like children, waits for nobody. You are either involved, or you are not, there is very little grey area and room for error. When an opportunity presents itself, you must take it as it may not present itself again. For the most part, depending on the type of business, you cannot pick your own schedule (one of the biggest myths out there)... customers and employees have an expectation that you will be available certain times. No different than children needing schedules, customers and employees do too. Don't get me wrong, there are rewards to it all otherwise people (including myself) would not do it everyday, but the hard work and effort required to run a business and family must carefully be planned out. The odds are you won't be a millionaire within a couple of years and perhaps it will take until your children take over the company (if they even do) before anyone actually reaps the rewards of the efforts put forth. And it takes money to make money... regardless of the initial cost, if the company experiences growth, the company will need capital, either in the form of loans, or your not receiving a pay cheque for even longer.
So is it worth it? To me it is, but to some, probably not.
So which CEO position is harder? I can honestly say they are about equal. However, my role as CEO at the company umbrellas many other positions such as bookkeeper, purchasing, receiving, inventory control, scheduling, etc (I do all tasks being we are small). My role at home is identical... I am in charge of the finances, purchasing, scheduling. I have two employees at work, I have two small children at home. Managing people, money and time is what I do. The big difference, I do not have to answer to anyone else (other than my kids and hubby) at home whereas I have to answer to about 1200 with the company. Both positions entail thankless tasks and both have their rewards.
So am I insane? Perhaps... for most it is a hard enough task to run one environment successfully... and here I am juggling two full time. How? I am not exactly sure, and sometimes I wonder if my head will explode. My motivation is essentially the fact that I was given an opportunity to be the mother of two and the ability and drive to manage a business venture that is thus far successful. Do I ever want to pack it in? Absolutely! But then something good happens and the motivation remains and I trudge along.
Do I get paid for these jobs? Not monetarily. And no not from the company either, at this point, as the money is needed for growth. I receive my payment from both positions in the form of the odd thank you, pat on the back (hugs and I love you's at home) and knowing the job is done to the best of my ability. Just as a person watches their children grow up into decent human beings, I watch the company grow as well.
So if you are a mother and are thinking of starting a business here are some thoughts for you to help you make that decision. Running a business and running a household with small children is very much the same. You work long hours with fewer initial rewards than anticipated. The only time most people see what effort it takes is when the job is not completed to expectation. If you are dealing with customers, the odds are you will be dealing with tantrums at work as well (surprisingly there are quite a few adults out there that are not all that reasonable in their demands and thought patterns). So if you are up for a challenge, this is definitely one. And having someone to support you in all you do, is a must. My hubby is away a lot, but when he is here, he helps out immensely. This is a must and without his help, I wouldn't be able to get done what I do get accomplished. Other friends and family are also key. Make sure you have a support network that will aid in times of need. Business, like children, waits for nobody. You are either involved, or you are not, there is very little grey area and room for error. When an opportunity presents itself, you must take it as it may not present itself again. For the most part, depending on the type of business, you cannot pick your own schedule (one of the biggest myths out there)... customers and employees have an expectation that you will be available certain times. No different than children needing schedules, customers and employees do too. Don't get me wrong, there are rewards to it all otherwise people (including myself) would not do it everyday, but the hard work and effort required to run a business and family must carefully be planned out. The odds are you won't be a millionaire within a couple of years and perhaps it will take until your children take over the company (if they even do) before anyone actually reaps the rewards of the efforts put forth. And it takes money to make money... regardless of the initial cost, if the company experiences growth, the company will need capital, either in the form of loans, or your not receiving a pay cheque for even longer.
So is it worth it? To me it is, but to some, probably not.
Friday, June 29, 2012
To My Husband...
I recently witnessed a horrifying occurrence where a husband was
abusing his wife both verbally and physically. I did what I could to help
the poor lady, but unfortunately she got back into the truck and made a
decision to remain in her situation. I have thought about this often and
I must say that I am so lucky. Unfortunately, it took this horrible occurrence
to make me realize it fully.
My husband is one
of the most wonderful people I will ever have the pleasure of knowing.
And the best part, I get to grow old with him, as long as life will allow
it. I have met many people throughout my years on earth, both friends and
acquaintances, that have made my life that little bit better, but ultimately I
actually got to marry my best friend; not many women can say that. His
love and devotion to our family is shown everyday through his motivation to go away
to work even though I know it pains him, as much as it does us, that we must be
apart for days on end.
Our paths crossed many years ago and neither of us thought that we’d
be living the life we are now. In fact I
am sure it was the furthest thing from both of our minds. And although it has not always been rainbows
and roses, I believe this has made our love stronger, as I know we can get
through anything. To this day I still
get butterflies when I know he is coming home, whether he’s gone for the day or
10. He may not see it, as children and life
often get in the line of sight, but those butterflies appear, even more so than
they did 12 years ago.
I love the man he has become and I am thankful every day for his
presence in my life. The once
self-absorbed, young-punk that I met (and he was), has turned into an amazing
father (when he is allowed to be due to work and distance) and a wonderful husband
who takes his role in our family very seriously without batting an eye. I see
that “diamond under all this dust” and I am very thankful to the women in his
life that did not.
So, hun, I know I do not say or show it often enough, but I love
you to the ends of the earth and back. Thank you for supporting me in all my quirky plans and ideas, no matter how crazy and hair-brained they appear. And so you know, I
would not trade you in; even for Damon Salvatore (even though I say I would
lol). I cannot wait for the time we get
to spend with one another in our rockers when we are old and grey “where the
green grass grows”. Thank you, for being
you! I love you and I miss you!
Your Apple Dumpling.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
You're Going To Miss This...
Trace Adkins has a song out called "You're Going to Miss This". It's a great song and one I resort to playing in my head when my 3 year old is throwing an epic tantrum and my 6 year old is squealing bloody murder because her brother just sprayed her in the face with water. It gets me through; at least it did, until last night when I had a thought...
What exactly am I going to miss? I recall back in high school people telling me that "those were going to be the best days of my life!" I don't think so... and when I was single with no real ties to anything I was told "to enjoy it, it won't last forever!" True, it didn't, and I did enjoy it, but they made it sound like doomsday was approaching. Then pregnancy came... "You'll miss that feeling when it's gone!" Nope, cannot say I do, it was an experience, but I definitely do not miss it. And now when my 3 year old is throwing the biggest tantrum on earth over a sock (he just pulled off intentionally) no longer being on his foot, I hear "You're going to miss this..." Hmmmmm, you think?
Not to say that none of the above listed times did not have their perks; each one was a time period, its own era. Much of it feels like a lifetime ago and as if it wasn't actually me that lived it, but none of these times were what I would refer to as something to fondly miss. They were experiences, they made me who I am and I do not regret any of them, but miss them... no. If someone offered me the ability to travel back in time to one of those time periods, would I take them up on the offer? Heavens no!
Back to present day.... Am I going to miss the overwhelming desire to bring out the duct tape and attach a child or two to one of the elms in the front while I close all doors and windows, turn up the stereo and sip a nice hot latte? I doubt it. Am I going to miss the "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom ,Mom, Mom.... Mooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Mom, I'm hungry " (while I am on the phone with the bank, 10 minutes after lunch)? Probably not. Am I going to miss the inability to use the bathroom without one of the kids inevitably also needing to use it, or needing to tell me something at that very moment? I am guessing not so much.
I know the point Trace is trying to make in the song is that kids grow up and it happens in a blink of an eye, to enjoy them when they are little and still need their Mom. However, I am not what a person would refer to as a "good" mother. I don't want to spend every waking moment with my kids. I love them and enjoy the time we do spend together, but I am not one to say "they are little and it is all about them right now". I don't believe that. I am me, I may be a mother and a wife, but ultimately I am me (with not as much patience as I once believed). Besides, as people point out, this time is very brief, so am I willing to give up 100% of myself to be at a complete loss of what to do when they leave home in 15 years or so? No. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that line of thinking; I am just saying that it does not work for me. My kids also don't want to spend 100% of their time with me, so it works for our family. I need the ability to be Randi, on top of Mom. Granted, I decided to undertake an awful lot of responsibility all at once (motherhood, running a company, etc), but to be completely honest all of it just kind of happened. I did think about waiting until the kids were older to pursue the company plans full-fledged, but when opportunity knocks, you better answer, because it does not present itself often!
So, am I going to miss my extremely exhausting life of running kids to where they need to be, playing single mom more often than not these days and running a fast growing company? Probably not. Am I looking forward to the future? You better believe it! I cannot wait to see who my children are going to become in life. It may sound strange, but it is exciting to think about what my daughter's "Architect Mind" (as I refer to it) will bring to the world and my son's "no guts, no glory" personality will develop into. They are amazing little people that will become unbelievable adults. And all the "high-spirited" (and exhausting) behaviour they extrude now will become something of grandeur in their future lives. But in this day and age these behaviours in the form of back-talk, tantrums, and overwhelming intensity... I doubt I am actually going to MISS it. Will I enjoy the good times and look back fondly on them? I sure will!
(For those that are not familiar with the song, I have copy/pasted the lyrics below):
She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby just slow down
'Cause You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got 2 babies of my own
One's 36, one's 23
Huh, it's hard to believe
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this
What exactly am I going to miss? I recall back in high school people telling me that "those were going to be the best days of my life!" I don't think so... and when I was single with no real ties to anything I was told "to enjoy it, it won't last forever!" True, it didn't, and I did enjoy it, but they made it sound like doomsday was approaching. Then pregnancy came... "You'll miss that feeling when it's gone!" Nope, cannot say I do, it was an experience, but I definitely do not miss it. And now when my 3 year old is throwing the biggest tantrum on earth over a sock (he just pulled off intentionally) no longer being on his foot, I hear "You're going to miss this..." Hmmmmm, you think?
Not to say that none of the above listed times did not have their perks; each one was a time period, its own era. Much of it feels like a lifetime ago and as if it wasn't actually me that lived it, but none of these times were what I would refer to as something to fondly miss. They were experiences, they made me who I am and I do not regret any of them, but miss them... no. If someone offered me the ability to travel back in time to one of those time periods, would I take them up on the offer? Heavens no!
Back to present day.... Am I going to miss the overwhelming desire to bring out the duct tape and attach a child or two to one of the elms in the front while I close all doors and windows, turn up the stereo and sip a nice hot latte? I doubt it. Am I going to miss the "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom ,Mom, Mom.... Mooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Mom, I'm hungry " (while I am on the phone with the bank, 10 minutes after lunch)? Probably not. Am I going to miss the inability to use the bathroom without one of the kids inevitably also needing to use it, or needing to tell me something at that very moment? I am guessing not so much.
I know the point Trace is trying to make in the song is that kids grow up and it happens in a blink of an eye, to enjoy them when they are little and still need their Mom. However, I am not what a person would refer to as a "good" mother. I don't want to spend every waking moment with my kids. I love them and enjoy the time we do spend together, but I am not one to say "they are little and it is all about them right now". I don't believe that. I am me, I may be a mother and a wife, but ultimately I am me (with not as much patience as I once believed). Besides, as people point out, this time is very brief, so am I willing to give up 100% of myself to be at a complete loss of what to do when they leave home in 15 years or so? No. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that line of thinking; I am just saying that it does not work for me. My kids also don't want to spend 100% of their time with me, so it works for our family. I need the ability to be Randi, on top of Mom. Granted, I decided to undertake an awful lot of responsibility all at once (motherhood, running a company, etc), but to be completely honest all of it just kind of happened. I did think about waiting until the kids were older to pursue the company plans full-fledged, but when opportunity knocks, you better answer, because it does not present itself often!
So, am I going to miss my extremely exhausting life of running kids to where they need to be, playing single mom more often than not these days and running a fast growing company? Probably not. Am I looking forward to the future? You better believe it! I cannot wait to see who my children are going to become in life. It may sound strange, but it is exciting to think about what my daughter's "Architect Mind" (as I refer to it) will bring to the world and my son's "no guts, no glory" personality will develop into. They are amazing little people that will become unbelievable adults. And all the "high-spirited" (and exhausting) behaviour they extrude now will become something of grandeur in their future lives. But in this day and age these behaviours in the form of back-talk, tantrums, and overwhelming intensity... I doubt I am actually going to MISS it. Will I enjoy the good times and look back fondly on them? I sure will!
(For those that are not familiar with the song, I have copy/pasted the lyrics below):
She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby just slow down
'Cause You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got 2 babies of my own
One's 36, one's 23
Huh, it's hard to believe
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this
Monday, June 18, 2012
Kids Being Kids, An Art Lost...
A few weeks ago we put a screen door on the front of my house. We figured it would save us money, conserve power (air conditioner) and also allow the kids to go out in the front yard and play without our need to watch them like hawks every second as we can hear them. We feel it is very important that they get their exercise and vitamin D and they love to be outside. Up until recently, unless we were outside with them (and lets face it, adults have a house to clean etc, they cannot spend all their time outside), they had to play in the backyard (which is not so bad, there is a large sandbox and a playground, but they cannot ride their bikes back there or "explore" the world). I think it is very important for children to be able to play "unsupervised" so-to-speak, so they can test their own limits and assess risk themselves without Mom or Dad telling them what they can and cannot do. I got to experience this growing up, my husband got to experience this... it's only fair that our kids also get to experience this, however times have changed and we are a more fearful society of what dangers lie out there and children seldom get to be children any more.
So today, my kids got to be kids. The neighbour happens to be watching his two grandchildren today, so they have been able to run across two completely unrestricted play areas (both yards, both front and back). I can hear them, he can hear them, as they are never over 50 feet away (and they are anything but quiet), but to them Mom, Dad and Grandpa are not watching their every move. They have worked out a game of soccer on their own, put on performances for one another and there have been many giggles and squeals of delight. They check in here and there when wanting something to eat or drink, but otherwise they have been off doing their own thing and delighted in doing it (as is their mother). I've even had a chance to blog about it, being they are busy :)
What an enjoyable day for all!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover...
Something strange happened today. I saw the neighbour and he asked me if I was okay. I said yes, although I was confused on why he thought that, but I had been rubbing my eyes as I had just minced up an onion. Evidently he thought I had been crying. He then said "oh good, because I thought it would be weird if you were crying as you are too strong for that." I replied "I cry. Everyone cries." He said "I guess I just never thought you could have a weakness."
I thought this incident strange in the sense that I am human and have many weaknesses. He hardly knows me, I'll give him that, but he does see me a lot playing with the kids outside, tending to our itty bitty garden, etc. So I got to thinking that his perception of me must be quite wrong. Or perhaps his definition of strength is different than mine. To me, I am an average human being. I cry when upset, overwhelmed, and sometimes for no reason at all. I laugh when I am happy and hear a good joke. Sounds pretty normal to me. I do have weaknesses... some I try to better, others I don't really care to fix as they are not all that important (such as I cannot crochet, nor do I care to, although I could learn to if I wanted to know). I also have many strengths, as does everyone. I am highly competitive with myself (and very stubborn). I set my sights high and normally achieve my goals. I do not believe in failure, I believe only in a chance to try it again a different way until it gets done. My biggest weakness is my kids... much the same as any mother or parent out there. And that is precisely who he sees me with every day. I am not sure where he got the idea I was anything more than average, but evidently he must have got it from what he has seen over the last few months.
So, I wonder what his perception of me actually is? I wonder what perception people have of me in general? It makes a person think about what perceptions they have of others that are most likely not the full truth. It also puts the old cliché "Don't judge a book by it's cover" into perspective.
Food for thought.
Food for thought.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Somebody Is Trying To Tell Me Something...
So today I met an amazing teenage boy. He has very noticeable scars on his head and is missing a part of his skull. To most teenagers this would be a nightmare, but he regards these scars as a wonderful thing... they mean life. This boy is not like most others, he is battling cancer... a very rare form of cancer that only 10 people in the world have. He underwent 22 hours of surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his brain... he lived through it. The scars are nothing more than a tumor removed and a second chance at life. This boy has made an impact on my life and I am glad he walked in today with his father. His story is inspiring and puts many things into perspective. The biggest battle he will probably face in his life is mostly over and this battle was bigger than most of us deal with our entire lives.
This brings me to the title of this post. I have noticed a theme to my life lately. It surrounds me, envelopes me, like someone is trying to tell me something. I cannot ignore it. From the homeless people staying next door, to the person handing out flyers about their lost beloved dog, to the young man that was close to ending it all, to the aggressive dog next door, and the teenage boy today... I am very lucky to have the life I do. To have the friends and family I do, the healthy children, the dog who loves everyone and stays put (for the most part), the roof over my head and the need to persevere. I have been in a kind of slump lately full of frustration and dark clouds. Sometimes it takes seeing what could be to open your eyes to what you truly have. And I have everything important.
I do believe I currently have another lesson ahead of me, and I am not sure what it may be... but time will tell and it will be revealed. I just need to pay attention and ultimately have faith in the universe itself.
And in the midst of the storm last night, I even saw a rainbow... that's got to mean great things :)
This brings me to the title of this post. I have noticed a theme to my life lately. It surrounds me, envelopes me, like someone is trying to tell me something. I cannot ignore it. From the homeless people staying next door, to the person handing out flyers about their lost beloved dog, to the young man that was close to ending it all, to the aggressive dog next door, and the teenage boy today... I am very lucky to have the life I do. To have the friends and family I do, the healthy children, the dog who loves everyone and stays put (for the most part), the roof over my head and the need to persevere. I have been in a kind of slump lately full of frustration and dark clouds. Sometimes it takes seeing what could be to open your eyes to what you truly have. And I have everything important.
I do believe I currently have another lesson ahead of me, and I am not sure what it may be... but time will tell and it will be revealed. I just need to pay attention and ultimately have faith in the universe itself.
And in the midst of the storm last night, I even saw a rainbow... that's got to mean great things :)
Saturday, June 9, 2012
The Grateful Path Less Taken...
One of the things I love most is the feeling a person receives when they know they have truly helped an individual or group of people. I used to spend countless hours helping those less fortunate by clipping coupons, watching for sales and purchasing much needed items for the people at WIN House and the Mustard Seed here in Edmonton. I could find some great deals, such as toothpaste on sale for 57 cents and match the sale to a 50 cents off coupon and pay 7 cents per tube of toothpaste. It cost me little and provided so much to those that did not have it. At that time, I myself had very little in terms of finances, but it never played much of a part in whether I purchased these items for those that truly needed them. The feeling of joy I received when donating these items was worth way more than the money I ever spent. (Our wedding favours were not tangible items, they were donation cards to the Canadian Cancer Society on behalf of our guests as everyone that attended had been affected by cancer in one way or another).
As my company grew, I found less and less time to coupon clip/sale hunt. I still contribute all our used clothing to these groups (and Cerebral Palsy), but unfortunately, due to time constraints, I am unable to continue the way I used to. I miss it. I miss visiting the Mustard Seed and seeing the people there (who loved to see my daughter, Sam, her entrance brought them such joy in a time where little joy was found). I do believe everyone should pay a visit to one of these shelters to truly understand what the Edmonton homeless are faced with each day. Thankfully these services are provided to the people who need them with the help of volunteers and donations. Every time I visited (which was biweekly or so), I felt grateful for everything I did have in the way of a roof over my head, clothes on my back, a family and friends that love me and food in my belly... the important things.
At this point in time, I think it is time for a reality check again as I find myself in a slump of sorts... not attaining what I believe I should have, but forgetting how rich I truly am. My house may only be 900 sq ft in size, but at this very moment, I could be standing under the eaves of some building with my children wishing for 50 sq feet of shelter (it is raining outside). My belly is full of organic vegetables and quality meat... my kids and I could be hungry and hoping for scraps for our next meal. My daughter is heading into competitive gymnastics, and rather than worry about the cost, I think I should be grateful that she is able to perform at the level she does, rather than be immobile like so many 6 year old children out there. My son is a reckless 3 year old... again, I should be grateful he has the brain capacity to be the turkey he is and the mobility that goes a long with it. I really have so much to be grateful for. In reality the only difference between myself and those at the Mustard Seed has to do with the support network I do have surrounding me. Every one has it rough at some point in life... lots of it has to do with life choice, but the result often has to do with a persons support network. As my step dad has always said "every person deserves a roof over their heads, food in their belly and comfort (warmth, running water, etc)." He is right. No matter what decisions a person has or has not made in life, these things are vital to life. It is because of family and friends that I have never lacked in these departments.
To fill the void I have decided to once again give to those who need it so bad. Due to the time constraints in my life with the kids in school, work, extracurricular activities etc ... I have decided in lieu of the couponing to take 2% of my company's net monthly sales and donate them to a charity in the city that works to improve the lives of others. I have yet to make an annual profit with the company due to rapid growth, however, I think 2% sales is easily contributed and when we do make a profit, the contributed dollar value is not going to make or break the company. It can however change the lives of those that truly need it. I feel good about this decision, it's a way I can keep doing what I love and get back the feeling I once cherished. I started the program as of June 1, 2012 and will continue to do so through the life span of the company.
I hope to also find time, when my hubby is in town, to make soap and toiletries that can be donated to these organizations. I have the materials, the knowledge, the place and the means, so it's now just working out a time that I can get it done. I will. Combining two things I love sounds like a dream... an attainable dream... making product and donating it... can't get much better than that! I am going to have to find a way to get the kids involved as well, as I do believe they too, need to understand how much we truly have. Sam has not been to the Mustard Seed since she was around 2 years old, I doubt she remembers... so it's time for both her and Logan to meet the world and understand all it entails.
So starting today (again), I promise to remember that I have (in no particular order):
I hope to continue to add to this list over time as I re-realize how abundant my life truly is. I have actually attained many dreams, but my nature makes me raise the bar when a milestone is hit. I need to reflect on everything I have accomplished, even the little things, to put everything in life into perspective.
As my company grew, I found less and less time to coupon clip/sale hunt. I still contribute all our used clothing to these groups (and Cerebral Palsy), but unfortunately, due to time constraints, I am unable to continue the way I used to. I miss it. I miss visiting the Mustard Seed and seeing the people there (who loved to see my daughter, Sam, her entrance brought them such joy in a time where little joy was found). I do believe everyone should pay a visit to one of these shelters to truly understand what the Edmonton homeless are faced with each day. Thankfully these services are provided to the people who need them with the help of volunteers and donations. Every time I visited (which was biweekly or so), I felt grateful for everything I did have in the way of a roof over my head, clothes on my back, a family and friends that love me and food in my belly... the important things.
At this point in time, I think it is time for a reality check again as I find myself in a slump of sorts... not attaining what I believe I should have, but forgetting how rich I truly am. My house may only be 900 sq ft in size, but at this very moment, I could be standing under the eaves of some building with my children wishing for 50 sq feet of shelter (it is raining outside). My belly is full of organic vegetables and quality meat... my kids and I could be hungry and hoping for scraps for our next meal. My daughter is heading into competitive gymnastics, and rather than worry about the cost, I think I should be grateful that she is able to perform at the level she does, rather than be immobile like so many 6 year old children out there. My son is a reckless 3 year old... again, I should be grateful he has the brain capacity to be the turkey he is and the mobility that goes a long with it. I really have so much to be grateful for. In reality the only difference between myself and those at the Mustard Seed has to do with the support network I do have surrounding me. Every one has it rough at some point in life... lots of it has to do with life choice, but the result often has to do with a persons support network. As my step dad has always said "every person deserves a roof over their heads, food in their belly and comfort (warmth, running water, etc)." He is right. No matter what decisions a person has or has not made in life, these things are vital to life. It is because of family and friends that I have never lacked in these departments.
To fill the void I have decided to once again give to those who need it so bad. Due to the time constraints in my life with the kids in school, work, extracurricular activities etc ... I have decided in lieu of the couponing to take 2% of my company's net monthly sales and donate them to a charity in the city that works to improve the lives of others. I have yet to make an annual profit with the company due to rapid growth, however, I think 2% sales is easily contributed and when we do make a profit, the contributed dollar value is not going to make or break the company. It can however change the lives of those that truly need it. I feel good about this decision, it's a way I can keep doing what I love and get back the feeling I once cherished. I started the program as of June 1, 2012 and will continue to do so through the life span of the company.
I hope to also find time, when my hubby is in town, to make soap and toiletries that can be donated to these organizations. I have the materials, the knowledge, the place and the means, so it's now just working out a time that I can get it done. I will. Combining two things I love sounds like a dream... an attainable dream... making product and donating it... can't get much better than that! I am going to have to find a way to get the kids involved as well, as I do believe they too, need to understand how much we truly have. Sam has not been to the Mustard Seed since she was around 2 years old, I doubt she remembers... so it's time for both her and Logan to meet the world and understand all it entails.
So starting today (again), I promise to remember that I have (in no particular order):
- a wonderful & healthy family
- love from friends and family that are amazing (including Facebook friends)
- a roof over my head
- clean water
- good food in my belly
- a reliable vehicle
- a bed to sleep in
- a beautiful canine companion (who also eats well)
- talented, healthy, happy, active children
- a husband who is my best friend
- three sets of parents (often taken for granted, but so many have none)
- clothes on our back
- my own company
I hope to continue to add to this list over time as I re-realize how abundant my life truly is. I have actually attained many dreams, but my nature makes me raise the bar when a milestone is hit. I need to reflect on everything I have accomplished, even the little things, to put everything in life into perspective.
Friday, June 8, 2012
The Journey continues...
Call it therapy or what you will... the blog has been created!
I used to write a lot. I have had many journals through my life and the last time I really sat and wrote was around 10 years ago when I went through a "Journey" of sorts working out my thoughts, feelings and perspectives on life and myself. Call this blog a continuation of that journey from 10 years ago, but one of a different sort, following a decade of experience, a different mentality, two children and marriage. It is still about me, but I have changed perspective; perhaps it was having children, or being married, or having my own company, or all of the above, plus some experience thrown in as well. Whatever the case may be, it is time to write down my random thoughts and lunatic ravings to make sense of the world around me.
I have come to another point in my life where I am questioning many ideas, cultural values and society in general. I am interested in what makes people tick. I spend more time watching and analysing, trying to make sense of certain behaviours I have always just taken for granted. I have chosen the background for this blog based on that mind frame today. Essentially what I have learned is that life is never black or white, just many shades of grey with some colour thrown in here and there. It's not as straight lined as we would like it and we see many curve balls throughout our existence; hence the choice of the swirl. Our reaction to those curves is what defines who we are as people and each person, society, and culture reacts differently to the same curve ball. My interest these days lies in why they react as they do and to find out the truths to common misconceptions held by many. I am on an "awakening journey" so-to-speak... I am trying hard to open my mind to those things around me through research, asking questions and learning. To put myself in the other persons shoes. I want my kids to be open-minded, tolerant and accepting and the only way I know to teach them this, is to model it and educate them from an unbiased approach about every aspect rather than just one. To do this I must educate myself as well and make sense of the crazy thought patterns I do seem to have daily.
I used to write a lot. I have had many journals through my life and the last time I really sat and wrote was around 10 years ago when I went through a "Journey" of sorts working out my thoughts, feelings and perspectives on life and myself. Call this blog a continuation of that journey from 10 years ago, but one of a different sort, following a decade of experience, a different mentality, two children and marriage. It is still about me, but I have changed perspective; perhaps it was having children, or being married, or having my own company, or all of the above, plus some experience thrown in as well. Whatever the case may be, it is time to write down my random thoughts and lunatic ravings to make sense of the world around me.
I have come to another point in my life where I am questioning many ideas, cultural values and society in general. I am interested in what makes people tick. I spend more time watching and analysing, trying to make sense of certain behaviours I have always just taken for granted. I have chosen the background for this blog based on that mind frame today. Essentially what I have learned is that life is never black or white, just many shades of grey with some colour thrown in here and there. It's not as straight lined as we would like it and we see many curve balls throughout our existence; hence the choice of the swirl. Our reaction to those curves is what defines who we are as people and each person, society, and culture reacts differently to the same curve ball. My interest these days lies in why they react as they do and to find out the truths to common misconceptions held by many. I am on an "awakening journey" so-to-speak... I am trying hard to open my mind to those things around me through research, asking questions and learning. To put myself in the other persons shoes. I want my kids to be open-minded, tolerant and accepting and the only way I know to teach them this, is to model it and educate them from an unbiased approach about every aspect rather than just one. To do this I must educate myself as well and make sense of the crazy thought patterns I do seem to have daily.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)