Just another elm tree…

There is an elm tree in front of our house that is a magnificent tree, having been a seedling when our city was still in its 20’s.  This tree may be just another tree to many, but to me, it is a monument… a depiction of how life should be lived.  It stands tall and proud around 60-75 feet and its canopy spans over the roadway providing pedways for the squirrels and protection from the elements.  Year after year it dances with the wind, shelters from the rain and carries the burden of heavy snow. The events it has seen, I can only imagine.  

This elm has been subject to a couple adversities in the very short time I have known it.  In a wind storm a couple of years ago there was a loud crack and it was split in two down its trunk to its base.  The city was called and it was bolted and wired to aid in its recovery.  Although it still shows the scars of this event, it has continued to grow and bear its canopy every spring and provides a home to many neighbourhood birds. 

Last Saturday there was a very loud bang that could be heard for miles.  The elm was struck by lightning.  The electricity flowed through it and came out one of the bolts in an explosion of bark and wood pieces that sprayed across our yard.  It was wounded badly.  The nearly healed split from years previous opened once again and sap drained from its large trunk like tears.  The bark began to peel from it and insects started to invade.  It looked to be the end for this 80 year old gift from Mother Nature.  As I watched it struggle I felt sadness.  This tree that stood here for close to a century, which lived through droughts, a tornado, countless storms and many other adversities, was to be taken down by a split second occurrence; Mother Nature’s power at its best. 

I called the city once again.  They came and took a look at the wounds.  They performed some surgery and voila!  The tree will be okay!  It will live to watch over many more generations.  It will continue to shelter children as they walk to school and protect the vehicles from hail.   It will persevere and overcome this tragedy. 

I hope to live my life as strong as this tree.  I, like it, will suffer in life, this I know, as we all do suffer our own tragedies throughout our existence.  Like this tree, I hope to be able to rise above them and be able to heal.  Sure, scars will show, but these scars will tell a tale of events overcome and experience had.  And like this tree, I may need help from others to aid in this healing, and although it is in my nature, I will not refuse it, because sometimes even the strongest need help once in a while.  Although just another elm, this tree has taught me many things about life.  

Stress Management

So over this past weekend I had a "me" weekend.  The kids are at the grandparents, my hubby is out of town working.  It is just me and the dog.  I can honestly say I cannot remember the last time I had days all to myself where I did not have something that HAD to be done.  I think it was before the kids were born (so 7 years or so).  At first I was pretty lost, but then I realized I had time for ME!  Time to sit down, reflect on life and figure out some game plans.

The biggest hurdle in my life (and in most peoples life) is a lovely word called STRESS.  Stress gets me all the time.  I stress about everything!  All these little stressors that nag at me, whether warranting the amount of attention I give them or not, pile up and create a huge weight on my shoulders.  Soon, I feel bombarded and cannot tell up from down or left from right.  Life turns into a giant elastic ball where all the bands keep snapping at me causing me actual physical pain in my shoulders, neck and head and a sense of disorientation.  So, this weekend it was time to take the time to do something about it.  Make a game plan and put it into action.

My Game Plan:


First, I wrote down everything that is causing me to feel stress these days.  From there I prioritized those items by taking into account whether those items are really going to matter in 30 years.  My list got substantially shorter and resulted in five things that I need to deal with.  The items that were no longer on the list I crossed off and let go...  I am not going to let them bother me any more.  What was originally a giant elastic band ball, became a small manageable pile of elastics.  (There is something to be said for writing down things like this and then scrapping the list...  it seems to be a physical way of releasing it that you can see it actually disappearing).


I then took a binder and labelled it "The Plan".  In it I put some dividers and whole lot of paper. Behind each divider I made a title page that indicated the Action Plan for the five things I need to address. I added a start date to the plan and then an outline of how I was going to accomplish eliminating this stressor from my life (a summary basically).  Behind the title page I went into depth with step by step instructions of how to get there and the consequences of not following through with the plan (for me this is important, it's like a kick in the pants to get it done, plus it forces you to face reality).  Some of the plans are quite long, but I made sure I put all the steps necessary to accomplish my goal.

Now what?


The biggest challenge I will be facing is how to stick to the game plan, but I think if I continue to write down the everyday stressors I do experience at the end of each day and then let them go, it will allow me to stay on track as I can pay attention to the bigger, more important, tasks at hand.  I dated all the plans so that I can see my progress in terms of time as I get closer to completion.  The binder will be left out in a visible spot so I cannot "forget" about it.  My daily action plan consists of referencing the binder each day, checking off the steps, and dating them as I complete them.  If new situations arise that are of importance I can add them to the binder, if I complete tasks, they can be removed.  I was originally going to use a notebook, but I felt a binder would be easier as it could be updated as needed.

So will it work?

I believe so.  As long as I follow through. Only time will tell :)

Life Through David's Eyes...

Currently I have "homeless" neighbours.  What I mean is that the people living in the house next to me are actually homeless people that need a place to stay.  The person that owns the house is renovating it to flip it and he is letting the labourers that work for him stay there.

David is one of the men that currently reside there.  He is a happy-go-lucky guy and is never upset, and always has a smile on his face.  He doesn't drink alcohol, go to the bars, or gamble.  He had a bad hand dealt to him years ago and is now trying to recover from the events.  Other than a bike, he has very little material possessions and makes do with what he has.  He works long hours, for little pay, and smiles as he does so.  He has a soft spot for my kids that I didn't quite understand and you can see they bring him joy when they are out playing in the front or backyard.  He builds them gifts out of scrap wood, gives them items he finds on his reno jobs (such as a soccer net) and enjoys the look on their faces when they see what treasures he has found for them.  

I have gotten to know David a bit since he started working on the house around Easter and he has a great heart and appears to mean well. He wasn't always the person he is now.  The spiral of events that brought him to the circumstances he lives today happened in merely a split second.  The love of his life (and mother of his newborn daughter) was killed in a car accident on the way to meet with him one evening.  To deal with the pain he began to self-medicate.  His drug use and drinking got out of hand.  He went from having everything important to him, to having nothing in an instant.  He never got to see his daughter again (which he believes is for the best, as she should not have to see a father in his state).  

We were sitting outside one day watching the kids playing and out of nowhere David said "Chris [my hubby] is such a lucky man.  He's got a wife, beautiful kids, a house, a steady job, and a dog.  I hope he knows that."  I assured him that he did.  This last weekend it had been about three days since we had seen David and when the kids saw him they ran at him and attacked him playfully (much to my dismay... kids shouldn't do that to anyone).  They were very excited to see him. David's response to it all "That is the coolest thing!"  It got me thinking about it all and yes, we are very lucky and we do have it pretty good.  Sometimes it takes viewing the world through David's eyes to appreciate how much we truly have in this world.